Dating During Divorce: Can You Date If Your Divorce Isn’t Final?
You’ve finally done it! You’re getting a divorce with your spouse and you’re ready to start a brand new chapter in your life.
No matter how long the decision took you it can certainly feel like a light at the end of the tunnel. You might be looking for someone new to bring happiness into your life during this time.
While dating during divorce might seem very tempting there are quite a few things you should know before you start a new relationship.
There are many different negative impacts that dating while your divorce isn’t finalized can have.
Keep reading for our ultimate guide on dating during a divorce.
Start Unnecessary Conflict
Starting to date during your divorce can start an unnecessary conflict with your ex-spouse especially if you were the one who initiated the divorce. They may think that the reason you wanted a divorce was because of the new relationship and might even bring up cheating.
Obviously, this isn’t the case but someone who is hurt will be looking for someone or something to blame. It is an easy way out and a way to start lots of drama that is unneeded in a very difficult time.
On the other hand, even if your ex-spouse was the one who initiated the divorce a new relationship during divorce could still bring on the same types of conflict.
Unnecessary conflict with your ex-spouse could also make it more difficult to deal with them when trying to settle the case. This could mean that the divorce could drag on even longer so that you will still be legally married.
Limit Your Settlement Options
Besides creating conflict and drama for yourself by dating when getting divorced you could also limit your options when trying to settle with your ex-spouse. When two people are getting a divorce they must figure out the best way to reconstruct their lives and split up their assets.
Two civil people may want to figure out the best thing that works for them in a positive way. This could be one person getting a larger settlement so the other pays low spousal support or none at all.
If you include the stress of starting a new relationship with a new person, then your ex-spouse might be more combative when trying to make negotiations. This could hinder you if you’re trying to get high spousal support from your ex-partner or a large settlement.
In Texas, adultery can play a significant role in determining your financial outcome. Even if you started dating after you and your ex-spouse brought up divorce you are still legally married. This means it can be a sticky situation so it is better to avoid dating someone new until the divorce is finalized.
Affect Your Parenting Time
Another thing you will be figuring out during the time of your divorce is your parenting schedule. One thing that your ex-partner may argue is that you don’t have any extra time to take care of the kids because you’ve already started a new relationship.
As crazy as it sounds sometimes this argument can hold up in a legal setting. Sometimes people can spin the narrative to make you look like the bad person because you choose to move on earlier than they wanted you to.
There is plenty of time to learn how to start dating after divorce and focus on getting through your divorce now.
You also might even find yourself too wrapped up in a new relationship and not wanting to spend time with your children. After all, you might think that this is a new chapter in your life that you’re excited about.
Unfortunately, you will find that you regret that decision later on when you don’t get as much time with your children.
Divorced dating can distract you from what you should be focused on right now. There is a lot that you have your mind on and you should be figuring out all the small details before starting something new.
Disturb Your Children’s Healing Process
You and your ex-spouse are indeed going through a lot but your children are going through something else entirely. They are going from having one home with two parents to now having to split their time in between two homes with their two parents.
You need to think about the way your children are handling your divorce. They are going through loss, confusion, and even anxiety.
Introducing someone new to them might add even more stress to the mix. They’re already having to come to a new house to visit you and then having to meet someone brand new.
Even if you don’t introduce your new partner to your children there are still negative side effects. For example, if you and your ex-spouse are fighting because of your new relationship, then that might add more stress and anxiety to your children as well.
It Could Be Too Soon
One of the last things you should know about dating during your divorce is that it could be too soon to start dating again. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to heal from your first relationship before jumping into a new one.
Even if you and your ex-partner feel like you’ve been broken up for a long time it still could be too soon for you mentally.
When you’re going through a divorce you’re still dealing with lots of emotions and lots of baggage from that relationship. There are tons of things that you need to hash out at every single meeting from your relationship.
You won’t be at the tip-top mental shape to start dating after until divorce.
Dating During Divorce Is a Bad Idea
Although you might be ready to move on and start a new chapter in your life dating during divorce isn’t the right move yet.
Waiting until you get that piece of paper in your hand that says your divorce is official is the best move. Plus, it will feel so much better to have a clean break and be able to move on completely.